Sunday snowshoeing

Monday, 9 March 2015

I haven't been outdoors in a while, because I actually came back from India with a fractured rib and that takes months to heal. The pain has been less intense this week, so I decided to finally go out. The story of how I ended up with a fractured rib sounds laughable, but it's due to violent coughing during the month that I was sick. Crazy, right?

Since the weather got slightly warmer, I went for some snowshoeing fun with friends. I had an awesome day full of laughter, and I hope there will be more of these moments this year :)









Irony

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

The things you hate having done to you is somehow what you end up doing to others. The person you hate the most is somehow a reflection of yourself. Just when you let go, it all comes back to you.

I used to think that life is full of irony…but then I realized that as humans, we tend to see patterns and connections everywhere. Incongruous events are seen as ironic, and congruous ones are seen as fated. The ones that are neither completely congruous nor incongruous are either forgotten or unnoticed.

Is life actually filled of irony, or are humans just pathetic to extrapolate the importance and meanings of our lives?

Goodbye auditing

Saturday, 14 February 2015

I'm the oldest child in my family and I've always felt pressure to graduate fast, to be successful in my career rapidly...so that my parents wouldn't have to work so hard anymore. The problem is...I wasn't smart at school. All my life, I've felt like I needed to work much harder than other people just to reach the same level. I've felt like I needed to ask questions a certain way, to get answers...use some kind of tactics to reach my goals...and because of that, I've never really had a stable career.

I chose auditing because I wanted to work in various industries, to know about them inside out, and to learn and much as I could in the shortest amount of time possible. When I first started working in public practice, I used to hate interacting with clients, especially confronting them, which can happen quite often. I wasn't very confident because I didn't know what I was doing half of the time...which caused me to ask irrelevant questions sometimes, to look quite confused maybe. It required me to step out of my comfort zone on a daily basis.

However, after a few years of practicing, I've become better at it, gained some confidence and I've come to love the social life associated with it. I like meeting clients now, I look forward to working with them, learning about their businesses, and sometimes confronting them too. I'm definitely not an expert at what I do, but I've seen quite a lot by working in various industries and people of different levels in the organisations.

Nonetheless, I can't change the fact that I am an introvert and it drains me so much that I sleep my weekends away sometimes. I've asked myself...is this a life that I want to live? Of course I want to climb higher in the corporate ladder, but at what cost? The day I get there, I will have realized that I've wasted years slaving my life away. I guess I'm looking for some middle ground, and a better balance? I would like to use the knowledge I've gained to do something more useful, and to invest my energy somewhere that would match my personality a little bit better.

...and I can't deny the fact that I'm stressed about running into him at work. Every morning, I pray that I will not get into the same elevator as him. When I go to the washroom, I hope that he will not be in the hallway. We haven't seen into each other in months...but even knowing that there are chances that I run into him makes it difficult. Of course, it doesn't mean I regret what I've done...because I know that if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have done anything differently.

All this to say that...I've quit auditing!

Downs

Sunday, 25 January 2015

I've never had so many downs in my life, career wise, friendship wise and relationship wise. Everybody who wronged me seems to be living a happier life now. How unfair that is. Sometimes, I wonder if I have a problem, even my mom worry that I have a problem.

The only explanation that I've come up with is that...my reality is fucked up but it's functional, while most people's reality is normal but is dysfunctional...that's why I'm isolated. Am I dysfunctional just for thinking that other people are dysfunctional, instead of blaming myself for what's happening?

Most women are smart, but they subject themselves to the stupidity of men. Most people are dishonest and are afraid of confrontation. Most people are dreamers blinded with comfort and just want to be accepted. The only thing I've ever done wrong is that I'm none of those.

...or should I blame it on the three wishes I made at the Ganges?

A geeky, boring and anal type of guy

"Elaine, you're a crazy and adventurous girl, why do you want to be a geeky, boring and anal type of guy?!"

"...because people who are crazy and adventurous usually don't want to settle."

Happiness in a bar

"Look at people around you, Elaine, does anybody look happy to you here?" a friend asks me at a bar.

"You're right...I haven't noticed," Some people were looking at their cellphone, some girls were waiting for people to approach them, they all seem to be waiting for something to happen...and none of them looked happy. "Why is that, do you think?"

"People are generally unhappy."

Delhi and Agra

Friday, 2 January 2015

Jumped on a train again, and this time, to Agra! You know how usually, you're not allowed to use the toilets at the station when the train isn't moving? Well in India, you're allowed to. There was so much shits on the rail when you're standing there waiting for your train, haha.



Taj Mahal! It's so beautiful and well-preserved, and it's clean...but there were still people pissing in public. The experience itself was not so great because there were so many people, and there was actually not much to see inside. From the exterior though, it's quite impressive; it's perfectly symmetrical, and it represents many cultures...I can see why it's one of the seven wonders in the world.



The next day, I took the train to Delhi, which is the capital of India. Most roads are paved and there are traffic lights here! I went to a market in Old Delhi, which is one of the busiest and oldest in India. I've never seen so many people, animals, cycle rickshaws crammed together like this in my life before. I was in this little streets, and it was impossible to walk forward....and I enjoyed it!



Some shops in old Delhi. I like how Indian people are cool with me taking pictures of them. Only a minority will give you a dirty look, but most people just don't care.



I visited the Hamayun's tumb...which looked similar to Taj Mahal, only with much less people. There are some nice architecture.



This is Qutab Minar, another nice place with so much history. The size and age of this tower is quite impressive. You really got to wonder how did people built this without the equipments we have today. India is awesome!

That concludes my little holiday trip. I hope to be able to travel to India again and see more of the south. As for Nepal, I'd love to go there for a trekking trip. I've traveled quite a bit, and this is the first time my mom strongly disapproved of the destination...but I've learned that the world really as dangerous as it seems. On this trip, I've encountered nothing but nice people, people who work hard, people who want to be happy.

Time to decide where the next destination will be!
 
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