Jay, Vermont

Sunday, 23 March 2014

I thought I would go to Jay for a hike...but it snowed the day before and when we got there, we realized that we would never make it because the mountain was all covered with snow...and on top of that, it's a backcountry hiking trail, which makes it even harder.

We figured it would be safer to just snowshoe around. It was fun nonetheless, and it was a nice day...even if they guy I went with was slighly annoying.

Snowshoeing in Val-David

Sunday, 9 March 2014

I really wanted to drive somewhere to take a walk on Sunday morning...and I chose Val-David after seeing pictures of the ice wall. I wanted to go alone, just so I can sing like a crazy woman in my car, but I took a friend with me in the end.

I think male friends can be better friends than female friends, especially if they can listen like a girlfriend. There is never drama, and because I'm a little bit of a tomboy inside my head. I had to pause every 10 minutes to wait for him to catch up...but he's a pretty good friend nonetheless. He is willing to try new things even if it's physically demanding, and he's not the sporty type; he tried hot yoga with me, he came to run my daily marathon with me, and came snowshoeing with me this time.

We pretty much got lost in the forest; I had this weird feeling because the path looked quite unsafe but when we realized that we were indeed on the wrong path, it was a little too late. We had to climb a mountain to get back on the right path...it was pretty crazy. Haha. We were really exhausted after 5 hours in the woods, but it was fun nonetheless.

...but god, this guy slept in my car and started drooling...Grrrrr.

Follow your heart

Saturday, 8 March 2014

Looking at him struggling between his heart and his reason really reminds me of myself and all the lessons learned over the years. You can find pieces of your heart in strange places…places that you never would have imagined, but only if you have faith, and you dare to explore and to risk...Your heart will always bring you where you’re meant to be.

I used to ask myself, would I rather die with a confident smile or die completely happy?  Now, the answer is clear. If I follow my reasons, I would certainly die with a confident smile on my face, but I will not necessarily be completely happy and without regrets.

Convincing him to follow his heart really makes me mad, because I clearly knew that I would not be able to convince him in the long-run. No matter how many times I inspire him with my words, his reason always comes back eventually. You just can’t convince someone to see something they don't want to see. He doesn’t see what I see, because of our background differences, the roads we've travelled, and the faces we've seen...

I don’t know much about him, but I believe in my instincts. I think he comes from a more conservative environment. There were norms imposed on him as he grew up; someone else’s beliefs were taught to him. But he eventually grew tired of it, maybe very subconsciously, and he wanted more in life. He didn’t want to be restrained. Obviously, you don’t just detach yourself from your background so easily.  It is indeed safe and comfortable to follow the norm, but every major improvement in this world started with someone breaking the rules.

I feel like, he never questioned those “politically correct” principles; does he know even the reasons behind his principles? I was able to move him with my words, even if it’s for a short moment, because he doesn’t strongly believe in those principles either. Confusion only exists when you believe in ideas that are not your own. When you start developing ideas of your own, you can start creating the life and relationships that you want; with passion and splendor. Passion doesn't have a reason.

...actually, even based on reason, I don't see any legit reasons.

I can tell that he's the type of person who would not be able to tell a mean truth...but he would not tell a nice lie either...instead, he gives you the worst of all; a cruel silence. I forgive him because I can see his struggle. He once said that he tends to do the “right” thing and not necessarily the good thing for him, which means he is not a selfish person…but this is also the reason of his struggle. There will always be struggles when you’re not loyal to yourself.

Life sometimes sends you those people, who steal your heart in an instant; they show you a possibility, a chance to grow, to change, to challenge the status quo, to show you that expanding landscape. Other times, we’re that person.

Following your heart isn’t about a feeling; it's an ability...which takes time to learn. If you’re able to learn this, the whole universe will help you find your way. "Well you know where to find me if your heart takes over again…" I said, and I hope that with time, he will learn to get to know himself better, to develop his own ideas, to be more confident in what he believes in, and from there, he will be able to create splendor as well…

Cross-country skiing at Tremblant

Sunday, 2 March 2014

This is the first weekend that I don't have to work, so I decided to do something I've never done before; cross-country skiing!

The trails are really pretty and the weather was nice. It was really fun although I fell many times on my butt. Zoran was patient enough to stay with me the whole way. We fed birds and explored the area. It was strange to feel the warmth of a bird on my hand, I've never felt that delicateness before...You can only wait patiently and let them approach you. It just feels amazing when they finally come to you. "Birds only approach you if they feel you're a good person...or they will fly away otherwise," Zoran said.

Heartbreak is the beginning of love...

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Someone said that you will not know how much you love someone until you've seen them with somebody else. Connection cannot be experienced without a sense of separation. Who would have thought that heartbreak is in reality the beginning of love...

Quote of the day: Advice

Friday, 17 January 2014

"My stomach's hurting..."

"Maybe tea will settle your tummy."

"Thanks for the advice."

"...more of a thought really...I know you well enough to know that you rarely take advice."


Tuesday, 24 December 2013

In 2013, I challenged myself physically and mentally. Through the 30 days yoga challenge, I learned to transform the way my mind works, to slow it down sometimes, to take the time to listen to my body.  I also learned about nutrition and healthier habits. Oh, and I lost about 30 pounds!

In 2013, I made good decisions, and I learned to not settle for less than what I believe in. I put an end to an almost 3 years long relationship. People deserve second chances and sometimes a third too, but you will know in your heart when it’s time to step away and move on.  

In 2013, I took risks.  I finally found the answer to what I always wanted to know, even half way around the world. The answer is not about searching an answer; it is accepting that there are no answers, literally. Endings can have loose ends too.

In 2013, I travelled through parts of Africa, witnessed the beautiful sunset, expansive landscape, wildlife, and some of the greatest natural wonders. I met people that inspired me with their stories and strength which all gave me some new perspective and new directions. Africa will always have a piece of my heart.

In 2013, I learned to appreciate the outdoors. As human beings, we sometimes aren't able to contextualize our place in this world...but in the oceans, on the mountains, we can see this clearly. They make us feel humble and lucky to be there for a short moment.

In 2013, I reconnected with good old friends. Having travelled to many places, much of my life has felt temporary. I make friends that I say goodbye to the next day. Parting ways is bittersweet. Sometimes, I see them again, sometimes I don't…but I'm eternally thankful for the amazing people I've met over the years, but even more thankful for the ones I had the chance to reconnect with.

In 2013, I found an awesome job in an awesome firm. I’m excited and confident to take on more responsibilities and new challenges. Although I still want to be relocated to Australia, I learned that choosing one path doesn’t mean that you have to ignore the other.

In 2013, I signed a mortgage. This happened at a timing that I was able to prove that I was stable and debt-free. Through this experience, I can feel their hardship and worries a little more. That was the whole point of moving to a foreign land 20 years ago...

2013 has been an amazing year, probably one of the best years in my life; everything just felt meant to be. I’m excited about what’s next. Where will I go, and who will I meet? What will inspire and shape my world?
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