I read a very interesting book that I would like to share with you guys. It is titled The Ethical Slut: A guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities written by the famous Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. I don't know if you read it but I strongly recommend it. This blog entry contains relevant quotes from the article and my very own personal opinions.
I've been called nympho or slut several times for various reasons. I laugh when I hear those comments, it tells a lot about our culture and society. "Sluts are evil, uncaring, amoral and destructive". Honestly, I used to think that way when I was younger, I was afraid to be dirtied. This is how I was taught by society. My asian parents are, of course, the typical type so that does not help.
I see many people who are not open about sex and I can understand that sex is better kept private. Some other people would say that sex is only after marriage, which i totally respect as well. They have their sense of ethics. But here is my point of view: I do not see the point of restricting ourselves to pleasure. I would feel so bad if I wasn't able to admit things I love and to restrict myself to those rules. That's for the religious folks: "To believe that God doesn't like sex is like believing that God doesn't like you" "We have never met anyone who had low self-esteem at the moment of orgasm".
Ethical Sluts' core values is pleasure. I believe that life is an opportunity to experience as much as we can, to taste all the flavours of life, to do things we like, things that make us feel good! I do not care about my GPA, credit cards, money, status and all that stuff. Did you know that if you were at about 100 km above Earth's surface, you might be able to see two things: China's great wall that looks like a snake and Vegas that looks like a star. If you are on the moon, you don't see anything constructed by Human Beings. You might see clouds, oceans, the north/south poles...Would you still worry about other people's critiques? would you still care about those unwritten social rules?
We cherish pleasure but that doesn't mean that we will do whatever we want even though it hurts people around us. "We are ethical people, ethical sluts. It is very important to us to treat people well and not hurt anyone. Our ethical come from our own sense of rightness, and from the empathy and love we hold for those around us." Another very important value for ethical sluts is consent.
We are honest, we recognize the ramifications of our sexual choices, we are respectful, we are realistic and we do not try to be everything we cannot be.
In our society...or in most of societies i should say, people value monogamy. People assume that this is the only right way because it has always been that way. This is not wrong because it is not against your will. However, I think that all types of relationships should be valued for what they really are and we can achieve the same things in every type. But sex is about pleasure, this is the primary goal..."there is nothing wrong with sex for sex's sake." Secondary goals include much more such as romantic love and other stuff like reproduction, but pleasure is the most basic goal.
"Longevity is not a good criterion by which to judge the success or failure of a relationship." Did you learn something out of it? Did you get the pleasure you wanted, did you feel good about yourself ? If you answer yes, then do not regret it. The word "always" could describe a short moment...Cherish every moment of your life. "One-night stands can be intense, life-enhancing and fulfilling; so can lifetime love affairs. While ethical sluts may choose to have some kinds of relationships and not others, we believe that all relationships have the potential to teach us, move us. and above all give us pleasure."
"You don't need a lot of "thou shalt nots" to be an ethical person. Honesty, empathy, foresight, integrity, intelligence and respect will do just fine."
Everyone is wonderful, there is no need to be ashamed of anything because if you do, it will cost you your happiness. Respect yourself and people around you.