Monday, 30 March 2009
First of all, this year's exchange is at Beijing Foreign Studies University. I really wanted to go, even though I already went last year as an exchange student and I wanted something different...but I also wanted to learn more Chinese and boost my GPA. So I was ready to pay for everything. Then this fat dude with greasy hair named MARK HALE (totally incompetent) wanted to meet me to discuss some issues. I already knew what he wanted to talk about and my guesses were right. That guy totally wasted my time, he could've said what he wanted to say through e-mails but instead I had to go to his office. He said he wanted to interview every participant, but I bet he only interviewed me...because time was so short and it was too sudden, it's just impossible that he had the intention to interview everyone. “Interview” is just a better word to cover “inspection”.
So I went to his office and he started asking me about my experience and all those blablas...like why the hell you're asking, it's not as if you care and that was obviously not the point of that “interview”. After a good 15 minutes, he asked about those "issues"...ahhh finally to the point! Issue#1: Roommate problems (not even my fault). Issue#2: Level adjustment (that should be part of their job). Go read the previous posts here and here, if you want to know what happened and no I'm not a drama queen okay? He said that those people at Concordia who are responsible of the exchange are not well-paid enough and don't want to do more work, so it would be better if I don't take part and he even had the guts to ask what I thought about that. Well what the hell you want me to think.
That is just so stupid, because DUAN LAOSHI was literally paid to go on vacation. You think I'm kidding? Well all those people who were part of the exchange would agree with me. What the hell he did except travelling around and a few speeches once in a while? Not well-paid enough? Probably because he doesn’t deserve it. I could've argued with him, because he was obviously feeling bad and was scared of my reaction. I could've...but it would’ve been so ugly even if I win because there's no point. Anyways, I was angry and I'm still angry. I'm not angry only for the fact that I'm not going to Beijing, but I'm also angry because this is unfair and I'm angry that there are so many incompetent people who pretend to be Jesus, who always try to take advantage of others, but will never sacrifice a little to help people out. I will give you two great examples: MARK R. HALE and DUAN LIAN, both work at CONCORDIA the most BS university in Montreal after UQAM!
Friday, 27 March 2009
Monday, 23 March 2009
So thursday it was. Jay, a guy that I met at Coco, called me. The thing is, I told him to call 2 months ago, but he had to call me 2 months later (???). He asked where I was and said he will come see me. Oh boy, you're 2 months late! Did you ask if I wanted to see you? I didn't want to see him, but I couldn't really say no…
By the way, if you wanna think I'm a bitch after reading this, that's your choice and I can't do nothing about it.
Back to my story, I was at SOS, and my barman was working at the bar. Oh, did I mention that you only pay about 10 dollars Canadian and you get to drink as much as you can until 5 am and you’re treated like you’re a celebrity?...but you only get Chivas.
I was talking to this guy that my friends brought. That's him on the picture (I stole it from facebook).
Well...that guy has some meat.
Yeah that's him. He's not even cute but it was dark so I couldn't see properly. It says on facebook that his name is Joe, so I guess he's Joe. He's half-Chinese half-Korean and grew up in Korea....or something of the sort. So I said to him "You're handsome" in Korean. I didn't think he was handsome, but that's all I could remember from what Kevin taught me so I said it for fun. Maybe he really thought that I find him handsome, so he came to sit right next to me (he was sitting across at the beginning). At this point, I was already freakin drunk and I wouldn't be able to recognize my mom even if she appeared in my face. Ok now, guess what happened! The classic: We kissed when I was drunk and I regret! Shit, let me give you an advice. Never kiss anyone (friends or strangers) who are obviously drunk, no matter if there're feelings involved or not. No matter how bad you want it, just don't, because you'll regret! From my experience, it’s a bad idea 99% of the time. I didn't even realize we kissed at first; I had to ask my friends to recall what happened.
Yeah, it's just kissing, but that's in China, remember? It's different cultures.
After that, Jay came. He came to see me, so of course I had to be polite and at least stay with him for a while. I sat with him at another table and I instantly forgot about that guy I kissed 10 minutes ago. I can't really tell you guys what happened with that Jay, as a matter of fact, I don’t remember. All I know is that is that I sat on his lap…not sure though. Maybe we kissed, maybe we didn't. I really don't know.
The barman! Damn, I completely forgot about him! How can I be so stupid!!! He probably saw all that. He looked freakin pissed...maybe mad...maybe disappointed…maybe sad...probably a mix of all that. Anyways, you know how that feels like, right?
So I immediately forgot about that Jay and everyone else. I went to him at the bar but he wouldn't look at me and ignored me. He even accidentally broke a glass and cut his finger. Luckily, I had a plaster with me...yeah what the hell am I doing with a plaster, but just in case eh. I felt so bad to see him like this and it's my fault. It must be sad to have a girlfriend like me. The next thing I know is that… I started crying. I know, I know, in a club! This is so stupid. I don't even believe it myself when I think back. Then, John hugged me, and there were Krystina, Bing Bing and Steph who were trying to comfort me. Ahh...everyone is so nice to me and I’m so mean =(
I don't even remember how Jay and the other dude left. I don't even remember how the hell I left.
Can you believe?!
Elaine, you should probably stop drinking!!!
Oh wait, I think I kind of remember now. I went to Mcdonald's with Krystina after. I don't know what the hell I was doing there, I really wanted to see my barman, so I went back. I was talking to the bouncers outside while waiting for him. They are all very nice. After 30 minutes, he walked out. I didn't know what to do, because maybe he's still mad. So I was standing there and looking at him, waiting for him to say or do something...and he finally said 走吧 (let's leave). Ahhh I was relieved! It was raining that night but he had an umbrella. It was weird because he looked....maybe still a little pissed, but he was trying to not get angry at me I guess. We went to the park as usual and sat on a bench right under a tree and talked. I don't exactly remember what we talked about, but nothing that has to do with what happenned earlier. All I remember is that he asked if I were cold...awww so cute =). However, I was still confused because he was probably still mad. I felt like he left with me just because he's polite and he's a good guy, and he couldn't just leave me there. He was acting distant but not quite...maybe he was trying to tell me to read between the lines and to fuck off. In the end, I left and I tried to act like it's nothing because there were already enough shit that night. It's easy to forgive, but difficult to forget....
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
It was June 24th, 2008 and it was a Tuesday. We had our last class and I don’t think I went. Maybe I did but I can’t remember what we did, so I don’t think I went. So yeah, it was Tuesday and we were leaving on Saturday morning. Like most people, I decided to stay in Hangzhou and enjoy the last days. There was a banquet where I received my certificate and we sang "Beijing Huan Ying Ni" to thank our teachers. I probably looked bad because I didn't know the lyrics at all, but whatever. All I know is that I didn't want to leave that soon even if I missed my mommy and my friends.
Here's a picture at the banquet:
(You can click to enlarge if you didn't know)
On the far right, there's Bing Bing. She didn't teach my level, but she seems very nice and sweet. She even came to SOS with us, how cool. Would any of your teachers go to club with you? The one in chinese dress is...I forgot her name. She teaches the other level as well, but I had her for a day and she's very cute. I always wondered how old she is, but I think it's rude to ask people's age, so that stays a mystery. On her right is Wu laoshi and Jessie. Jessie is fun and smart, I liked her the most. She's inspiring and her classes are never boring. Wu laoshi a little more difficult, I think she's more used to teach chinese students so it's a different teaching style that not all foreign students like, but she's a good teacher as well and I can see she cares a lot. Lily laoshi didn't come because she was pregnant, but she gave us gifts. I hope they are all doing well.
Kevin and I argued for some small things and it didn’t end well. I didn't think of reconciliating because there were only a few days left and I was kind of scared to hear what he would say to me. The last days are always emotional and it’s too much for me. He is an introverted, sensible and passive person, so I knew he would not come see me even if he wanted to. So that's why I'd never dare to say or do anything that could potentially make him feel bad, but I don’t want to lie either. I prefer to disappear without a word so I won’t need to face that. I'm only human being.
What I did do? I almost slept every day and went to club every night. Which one? SOS. Why? To see my barman, duh! I'd wait until he finishes work at 5 am. Then, we'd walk around the park and sit on the bench to talk about anything. I’d never do that kind of thing if it were in Montreal, like waiting for a guy until he finishes work and especially not for 4 days in a row. I'll not even facebook someone for more than 2 minutes in a row. In Montreal, I’d have to worry that maybe this is too much and maybe that is not enough. I’d have to calculate the days before calling, not seeing the same guy for more than once a week so he’d think I’m an independent woman and so he’d crave to see me when in fact I crave to see him too but I have to pretend I don't and then read the crappy articles on "what he likes" from cosmopolitan and play hide-and-seek. STUPID. Too stupid and it's tiring too, but it's supposed to make us more desirable...?
It's just different cultures I guess. In china, not every one of course, but most are pretty straightforward and simple. Maybe because my time was limited too, so I never hesitated and just did whatever I felt like doing and I know it was right even if it was whatever. If I wanted to see him 4 days in a row, I’ll see him 4 days in a row and no it's not tiring and you don't wanna play those stupid games if you like that person. It’s a Yes for sure or a No for sure…not maybe yes but no, maybe no but yes. That’s why I like fobs. I’m not saying that all fobs are like that, but I only stayed 2 months in China and I met 2 good guys and plenty of descent ones. I stayed 20 years (almost 21 years) in Montreal and I met 0 good guy, too many assholes and maybe a few descent ones. I say a few, but if you ask me to name them, I won’t be able.
On Thursday, Jay came to SOS and I did something that I regret a lot, but now it’s already 3h55 and I have to start studying for my quiz tomorrow so I’ll continue on that later!
Wish me good luck and don't distract me please!
Monday, 16 March 2009
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people；
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
Friday, 13 March 2009
A-) There is a part of his brain missing
B-) There is a part of his penis missing
Please choose what you are...but actually, I don't need to know because either way, you're a loser.
Goshh, why didn't I understand that before?
He said he should be able to get my cellphone this weekend and I will be generous and give him one more week. Place your bets, please.
Friday, 6 March 2009
I really do think I should be nicer to people who deserve it and just forget about those who waste my time but for some reasons, it just won't work. It feels like having the wrong map in my head, and everytime I have to turn right, I always end up turning left.
Elaine, you're a clever girl, but you don't act like one!
I'm too obsessed and stubborn and it's killing me! You know when it's time to give up? It's when you start hiding things inside and acting nice because at that point, you clearly only want to win. I try not to be like that because everything is losing their meanings. Most people want to be forever happy but I realized that it is also worth being happy if you still know how it is to be sad.
I'm in dilemma right now.
When I take a step backward...I'd think; there are people dying everyday and I'm going crazy for little things like that?...So yeah,this is probably the last time.
Tomorrow is a new day!
Thursday, 5 March 2009
F: That guy has a girlfriend but he cheats on her all the time and it's been 4 years. He tells me about it, because we talk about everything including penis sizes, bad sex, favorite position and all that crap. I know all his dirty secrets and he knows mine's. His girlfriend even brings him food and drives him home sometimes. He's still asking me to "chill" and we all know what that means. He even invited me to a hotel once. I can understand that after 4 years it might become boring...so break up! It's just too easy to lie.
Bastien: I met him randomly in a bar and we started seeing each other but we both didn't want anything serious and that was perfectly okay. Later, he got a girlfriend but he still insists that he wants to see me and even said that she won't know so it won't hurt her. I just can't really stand selfish people who think they can do everything they want. I hate liars even if he's lying to his girlfriend and not to me...because if a man can lie to his girlfriend for you, it also means that he can lie to you for someone else. I'm not that generous and you don't need to doubt that I'll ruin your life.
D: I met that dude at a party and he got my number from a friend we had in common. He calls me all the time and sometimes while he's drunk. At first, I thought it was okay because I didn't really say no...but just today, I learned from someone else that he has a girlfriend! I can't wait to burst his bubble.
Noby: Noby was one of my co-workers and one time, we decided to go for a drink. We were talking and talking and everything went just fine. After a few beers, he tells me that he actually has a girlfriend in France (he's from France) but he's not into her anymore. Waww...I hate people who waste other people's time and dude, no matter where you are in the world, your girlfriend is your girlfriend, your mom is your mom and you are who you are, asshole!
Jawad: That's another ex-co-worker...yeah it's always about the guys at work! I have nothing to say about him except the fact that he's a jerk and tries too hard and he does it right in front of the cameras at work. Okay okay, it's all the same story, I don't need to tell you guys what happenned but that guy was way too obvious and just too much. He even said to me at work "What position you like?" and "I want to eat you". Yuck, what a motherfucker!
My girl friends (not all of course) cheat on their boyfriends and none of them ever feel bad about it because they say it's their boyfriend's fault.
For all those who haven't cheated yet, it's only because you are "lucky" enough that no other girls want to hit on you because you're too ugly. I mean, you can fuck anyone you want, but what's the point of lying? Hiding is lying by the way. At least, lie smartly so that I won't know.
Honestly, if my boyfriend wanted to fuck someone else, it would be totally fine as long as he tells me.