Monday, 29 November 2010
Thursday, 25 November 2010
...I haven't stepped out of my room in a while and missed a whole week of school. And I must say it's actually refreshing to put my nose outside and breathe some fresh air once in a while...duh! One thing I've been enjoying lately is simply running and walking. I put on these headphones and just meditate on how good it feels while I’m in the process of it. It makes everything, including the smaller things, appear interesting. The cars driving by, the scenery changing, the music changing in my ears — it’s quite awesome.
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
as you sleep, and no one is listening
I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking
don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you
soon I'll be leaving you
but you won't be leaving me
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
There are times I can't get out of bed and so, I stay there in the dark for days where I can escape the torment of different thoughts. I was used to think that I were happy and that I don't care about anybody. I'm ahead of everyone, I have a pretty face and I receive all the attention I want...but that's all superficial. None of those can hide how untrusting, mad, disgusting and unfaithful I am. I'm ashamed. It's not easy to admit.
How can I still believe that I’m not the bad one when all those scornful fingers only keep pointing at me? Why doesn't anyone help me? Why am I being blamed for? Everyone expects something from me; they want all of me. There isn't much left for myself anymore.
Just as I think I've moved on and can live just fine and have fun, those evils come back to haunt me again and always. The same story keeps repeating itself in my life. Its predictability is scary. That loneliness that became blindingly safe is scary. That aching void that created the illusion that I am at peace is scary. I don’t have power to deal with those fears any longer.
The more I grow, the least I recognize myself. The dullness of this suppressed grief have consumed my existence. I can't remember the origin of that long silence…the origin from which I run. I don't want to remember...
I just want to disappear forever.
...find real peace.
Friday, 5 November 2010
aliens from outer space abducted me one day
destroyed my bond of trust with humanity
brought me beyond the point of no return
an event horizon that none can escape
my mind grew deformed gradually
day by day night by night
a pattern that followed me into adulthood
am I a little strange now?
forever lost in the hope of a hypothetical passage
legendary entrance to a parallel universe
a farther region of space and time
perhaps in a happier future
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
I come from a distant region without absolute space and absolute time. It's a place where no glances from your reality can cross the event horizon that shields the infinite density of my world. Trying to grasp the depths and singularity of my mind? Never.